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Trying to find your one true love and have that last first date is a difficult enough task. There are so many factors that complicate the search. However, if you want to have a successful dating life, there are certain phrases that should never … are you listening … NEVER, come out of your lips.
WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?
You’ll see them when you see them. If they want to see you again, they’ll call. If not, next. You don’t have time for anyone that doesn’t have time for you.
WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL?
There’s only one answer to this question: Because they didn’t want to!!! What you’re really asking is, “Why didn’t you want to call me?” Who knows!! There could be a lot of reasons, but you shouldn’t be sitting around wondering why. You should be out dating lots of different people and not worrying about ONE person. Don’t be so quick to put all your eggs into one basket, because if they break, it’s a big mess!
WHERE WERE YOU?
If they wanted you to know where they were, they’d tell you. What you’re really asking is, “Where you with another date that you like better than me?” Your insecurity is showing, my dear. If anything, they should be wondering where you were.
I LOVE YOU (FIRST)
You’re saying it in the hopes that they’ll say it back, but what if they don’t? You’ll be devastated and probably feel foolish. Saying “I love you” is not going to speed things up if he or she is not ready to say it back. So just cool it, and let them be the first to say it when they’re ready.
DID YOU SLEEP WITH HIM/HER?
As long as they’re not sleeping with someone else now, who cares? The past is gone. Don’t torture yourself (and your date) with these thoughts. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.
WHERE IS THIS GOING?
Nowhere fast if that’s your attitude. Their actions or non-actions will tell you where it’s going. If it’s going somewhere, you’ll know it. If it’s not, you’ll know it too.
WE NEED TO TALK.
This is the equivalent of, “Go to the principal’s office”. Anyone knows it’s not going to be a fun conversation, so they’re already on the defense. If you need to discuss something, just casually bring it up when the both of you are relaxed. Don’t try to talk to your date when he or she is tired, stressed or just trying to relax and watch TV!
I DON’T TRUST YOU.
What you’re actually saying is, “You need to step up your game, because I can see you’re up to something.” If they are up to something, they’ll just become even sneakier. Better to think smart and act dumb … it’ll be easier to get the evidence you need to confirm your suspicions.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
What you’re really asking is: Is something wrong? Are you thinking about our relationship? Are you thinking about me? Are you thinking about someone else? If your date wants you to know what he or she is thinking, they’ll tell you on his or her own. If they don’t, they’ll lie when you ask anyway.
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www.theartoflove.net
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, author, lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love."
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Wow, I absoutely loved the article and I find everything in it very true and worth to keep it in mind next time i happened to meet someone speial.
- Agi
Right on...each and every point well taken!
- Tammy
Thanks for the advice... Next time I meet a great guy I'm going to enter it with grace and style!
- Jessica
I think another one could be. "When is the last time you were intimate".. a big no no..
- Aaron
I'd agree with most, but advising to not say 'I love you' first is just lame. If you mean it, say it. But I agree it shouldn't be said for fishing purposes.
- Bunnie
I STRONGLY AGREE WITH YOU I agree with some of the advice but if you are really in love you will know but one thing i will say in a relationship is body language 'cos if ur partner body language is not what you wanted becareful. And about i love you, if u have been saying it to him/her everytime and doesn't respond or says okay just stop it but realise a day he/she will say it back but do as he or she has done to so he/she will feel it. "I don't trust you" is about your personalities, trust yourself than trust him 'cos he/she will break what he/she trust a day. so word of advice to it be your self.
- Temmy
GREAT ADVICE! ...ALL of them!!! Now just to be sure that I'm doing the "I love you" part right... it's been a couple of months now & I have NOT said the "L" word to my new girlfriend yet. So what if SHE'S waiting for ME to say it first? What if she read this very article & is following everything like me!??! HA!HA!HA! Oh well I guess only time will tell.
- Graham the Over-thinker